例三：
Read the independent writing question and the five essays that follow. Evaluate each essay according to the descriptions of the five levels. Assign each response a score of 5,4,3,2 or 1.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Score:
Response A
People see a lot of advertising in newspapers and magazines, on signs, and on television. Today people even see ads in the movie theater! All of this advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way. It influences how people spend their money, how they look at themselves, and how they communicate with other people.
Advertising influences how people spend their money. People sometimes buy things they can’t afford or don’t need. I read a story of a family that bought a computer for their children, but they were living in a tent. They didn’t even have electricity for the computer. People spend too much because they have to be better than everyone else. In my country, weddings are a big industry, and families spend too much money because of advertising. This is a negative influence of advertising.
Advertising affects how people view themselves. Sometimes it makes people feel bad if they can’t buy something. For example, a lot of sports and movie stars advertise shoes, clothes, and so on. Children see this on television and pressure their parents to buy it. There are a lot of crimes because teenagers kill to get designer jackets. Advertising makes them feel like they are nobody without designer clothes. Also, teenagers start to smoke because they think this looks cool. Moreover, some girls want to be thin like girls in the ads.
Finally, advertising changes people’s communication. I hear a lot of little children saying the phrases they hear on television. They also sing the songs from the commercials. Also, advertising influences spelling. I have seen “night” spelled like “nite.” Therefore, advertising has a negative effects on the ways that people speak and write English.
Advertising has a lot of good points. It is a way to sell things in a capitalist country. However, there are also a lot of bad influences on people’s behavior because of advertising.
Score:
Response B
Advertising is a large part of our culture, so of course advertising influences people’s behavior. But I disagree with the statement, advertising influences behavior in a negative way. On the contrary, I think the effect of advertising is positive for society.
One effect of advertising is a way for people to learn about new products to buy. We learn about new types of products and service by seeing it on television. For example, I learned about a special price for a travel to Florida from advertising on television. This had a positive effect on my behavior because I could enjoy ed a beautiful week in Florida. Other things I learned are a new restaurant of health food, a movie, and places for automobile service. All these advertising had a positive effect of helping me have a better life.
Another effect of advertising is a way to compare the prices and the quality of service. This is a positive because we can think carefully before we buy something. Also, we can save money. We can find a better quality. So advertising has a positive effect of critical thinking and making smarter shoppers.
Also, another positive effect of advertising is a way to get ideas for living more interesting life. We learn many interesting ideas from television advertising and also in magazines. For example, I read magazines and see interesting ideas to decorate my apartment in advertising. Also, I learn about new kinds of food and places to visit. So advertising has a positive effect of helping me, not a negative influence on my behavior.
Of course, some advertising influence behavior in a negative way, such as smoking. But I think the general influence on people’s behavior is positive. Advertising helps people learn about products, compare the prices and to get interesting ideas for better life.
Score:
Response C
We can see advertising in many places for example, on TV also on buildings, magazines and junk mail. The purpose of advertising is showing people to buy things. We can’t avoid a negative way for advertising even we are educated. Many advertising is a lie so we don’t always know it’s true. It’s a negative behavior for people tell a lie in advertising. But it’s too bad because people don’t know and buy things even it’s a lie. This is illegal in many countries. We had better to find the answer to the problem.
I used to watch TV and saw many advertising on TV. I saw lot of negative behavior. Many TV shows are very stupid advertising. Sometimes is a lie, animals don’t talk. Advertising-it’s good but some is a lie and not real. But still people’s belief, and so it’s a problem.
Score:
Response D
Advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way, I disagree with the statement. The statement is not true.
Sometimes advertising is very interesting I am interesting by the ads on the bus and train. Some advertising is beautiful art and it’s not negative influence, it’s very creativity. The advertising industry gives jobs to artists and writers. My two cousins and his friend they have a job in advertising company where draw pictures and design posters. Some posters on the bus and train where many people can see the posters. My cousin he studied at art college and his degree in commercial art. He got a job where make advertising posters. On the other hand, some advertising on television gives jobs to actors and musicians. Sometimes famous actors they make ad for television advertising, then later get a job in movies and so on. Some actor he doesn’t act, he uses voice narration on the television ads. I can hear the voice of some famous actors in the advertising, it’s not negative influence. The advertising industry has jobs for many people, it’s the reason I disagree with the statement. Also, I am interesting by the ads on clothing, such as T-shirts and caps. These pictures they are very beautiful by artists. Some ads in the print media, newspaper and magazine also, they are very good. My second cousin sometime she designs ads for the print media.
Score:
Response E
People influenced by the world around them. Advertising has many ways influencing people’s behavior. I agree with the statement. Most the influences of advertising are negative. I will discuss advertising on television and Internet.
Advertising is for cars, lifestyle, cloths, liquor, diamonds, and many other things. People don’t need all these things. These things are expensive, so influence is negative. People want too many things. They see the commercial on television. They want rich lifestyle. So they spend too much money can’t afford.
Some advertising is for medicine and drugs such as aspirin. People need some medicine. However, they take too many drugs don’t need them. Some advertising is fro food, such as pizza, cookies, candy, coke, and beer. People need food to live. However, many people get very fat. They eat too much junk food. Therefore, advertising is mainly a negative influence. Advertising cause people spend too much money. Moreover, people eat too much junk food. It’s bad for health.
Also, people influenced by the Internet advertising. It’s too much! Every kind of picture and spam on email-it’s too much commercial on Internet. In the past, Internet was for study ad learning. But now Internet is mainly way for sell things. People see advertising. They want too many things. It’s a pity. It’s mainly influences people’s behavior in a negative way. Moreover, some Internet advertising is false. 转贴于：考资网（www.kaozi.com） |
